Walk This Way: Rethinking Relationships with Mark Ordus

Morning. I just did some quick math in my head, and I I think if I'm correct, I only have forty three more years of ministry to match pastor Dave Owen. So yay. That is gonna be fun. Welcome, everybody.

Truly, an astounding legacy, pastor Dave, one of my favorite people in the world. And but today, we are here. We're wrapping up our series on the book of Colossians. We've been going through this series for about eight weeks now. And oh, I wanna welcome our Farmington people.

Our Farmington people are here. Yeah. Hey, guys. Because Sean forgot to pay the electric bill, so they don't have power this morning. So now they're here with us, which is super exciting.

So but we've been going through this series on Colossians, and along with this sermon series, we've also been having some small groups that have been meeting and talking about the book of Colossians as well. And if you've been a part of that small group or you've been a part of a small group for the past eight weeks or so, right when you exit the sanctuary, Sarah De Young, who's our director of small groups, has something for you to take home with you as a reminder about all of the things you've learned over the past eight weeks and studied about in your groups. And we'd also love for you either way, even if you haven't been in a group before, to stop by and meet Sarah, and she will share with you about some exciting opportunities coming up with small groups right here at Ward Church. So we hope you do that. But we've been going through this book of Colossians, and as we've been making our way through it, we've covered some really cool topics.

We've talked about the power of hope. We've talked about things like the supremacy of Jesus Christ, what it means to be mature in Christ. We've talked about grace, legalism, growth, community. Really, throughout this letter, we've been talking about what it really means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. And during that time, we we challenged all of us and challenged ourselves, right, that there are a couple areas of our lives that we may have to think about taking a one eighty, making a change in our lives so that we can become passionate followers of Jesus.

Now before we get into the scripture today, I wanted to give you all a little insight into my life. So about seventeen years ago, at the ripe young age of 23, I found out my wife was pregnant with our first child, whose name is Micah, who's here today. Hi, Micah. And he's really glad whenever I bring his name up in a sermon. So there were a couple things about this.

You may think because I've worked in churches a long time, I've worked with kids and students that I know everything there is to know about being a good dad. And at 23 years old, I thought that too. You know? But from the very moment Michael was born, man, he was not pumped about it. You know?

He he was crying throughout the night. We spent a couple days in the hospital with Micah, and he was man, he was mad all the time. So we and then the time came for us, and they were like, okay. It's time for you guys to go home. And I was like, are you sure?

I think it's broken. And they're like, no. You're it's time for you to take your son home. So we put him in his car seat, and he's still screaming. We're wheeling him out to the door.

He's still screaming, putting him in the car, screaming. And that screaming kept on for about eighteen months or so, and the longest stretch of time we got to sleep in about a year and a half were increments of, like, forty five minutes or so. We lovingly lovingly, son, call these years the dark ages in our home because we don't remember most of what happened. It's just blank around there. And I remember in this time, the situation we found ourselves in, it really impacted a lot of our relationships around us.

It impacted our relationship with Micah. You know, we would say all the time, man, it's a good thing God made babies cute or else we would drop kick this kid out the window. You know what I mean? But but he was super cute, so we did it. And it changed my relationship with my wife a little bit too because we'd be laying in bed, and we'd hear him screaming in the next room.

And dads, if you've ever done this move, I'd be like, pretend I'm sleeping, so hopefully Lisa would go get him and everything. And so it became this weird power dynamic of no, you go, no, you go. I mean, which was truly a joy holding you all night, Micah. It was it was a lot of fun. But it changed our interactions with the place where I worked.

I used to work at First Presbyterian Church of Northville. I was there at the time. And, man, I I can only imagine we were just like zombies walking into church every week. And I remember this this is kind of embarrassing, but I'm gonna tell you guys anyway. We can be vulnerable.

Right? This is a safe space. And so I was in a meeting with doctor Darlene Kuperis, who was the director of music at First Presbyterian Church, and she had two doctorate degrees. She had one in choral directing and one in organ performance. And she was always dressed to the nines, you know, business suits and everything else, and there's, you know, me, 23 years old, haven't slept in days and all disheveled, and probably wearing a band t shirt or something.

And she's talking to me because I was the director of the youth choir at First Pres Northville, and literally, in the middle of our meeting, I fell asleep. And it was just two of us in the meeting. And I was looking at her, and I was just like, yeah. Yeah. And she was like, Mark.

And I'm like, oh, sorry. Sorry. Yeah. It it was tough times, man. You know?

It was it was like I said, it it was the dark ages. So all that to say, I very quickly realized that I had no idea what it meant to be a good father. I had no idea what it meant to be a good husband, and I felt like I really had no idea what it meant to be a youth pastor or a son or anything else. And maybe maybe I'm alone in this, but I feel like I'm probably not. I feel like there have been times in all of our lives when you hear all the great things the Bible has to say about loving one another, casting our cares on him.

Trust me. We were casting a whole lot of cares on him. You know what I mean? And and being a good husband and wife and friend and son and daughter, etcetera, and you think, okay. But how can I actually be that kind of person?

How can I actually be the kind of person that God is calling me to be? So when we get to the end of the letter of Colossians, Paul kinda sums up with a couple application steps you can take of how to actually put these things into practice. And I'm gonna be honest with all of you. The scripture we looked at today, which didn't our scripture reader do a great job with all those names and everything? Well done, sir.

Well done. But there really could be probably five or six sermons in here. So we're gonna we're gonna kinda run through all of them and see if we can find if there's a common factor in all of the commands Paul gives to these different people at the end of his letter. So as we enter into the scripture, I want you to keep one question in mind. What is Paul calling us to rethink about the following relationships?

We're gonna start with Colossians three seventeen, which pastor Terence talked about last week, but I think this is like a really good umbrella to just cover all of it in. Right? He writes this, whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the father through him. So that's kind of the big command. Right?

That's like the 10,000 foot view of what Paul is calling us to do at the end of his letter here. Paul is basically saying, whenever you feel like you should do or say something or God is nudging you to do or say something, just do it. Right? Follow the nudge. Don't ignore those little nudges God gives us.

Do it with a grateful heart out of the honor of the one who has done everything for us. And then in the next couple verses, eighteen and nineteen, Paul calls us to rethink husband and wife relationships. In verse 18, he writes this, wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as is fitting to the Lord. Now have you all noticed whenever I preach, they make me talk about someone submitting to somebody? Have you guys noticed that before?

I don't know. I think Terence and Scott are mad at me or something, but I'm just kidding. But wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as is fitting to the Lord. Okay. So kind of a rocky start.

Right? Kind of a rocky start, and, really, the the reality, kind of the harsh reality of this scripture is this is probably one of the most heavily abused scriptures in God's word. Because at first glance, it almost seems like Paul is laying out a pecking order or saying, wives, you're second fiddle to your husbands. And really, considering the culture he was writing to, he probably would have got a lot of amens and people interpreting it that way because they were living in a culture where women had no rights. They were living in a culture where her husband could abuse her.

They were living in a culture where he could be unfaithful to her, but she better not be unfaithful to him. They were living in a culture where he could hurt his wife in any way he saw fit, and there was no legal recourse for the wife to protect herself. She had no legal recourse to initiate divorce or get out of an abusive relationship. But the tension is, with Paul writing this, wives submit to your husbands, the tension is in Galatians three verse 28, Paul also writes this, There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. It reminds me of this passage where Jesus is is talking about marriage relationships as well, and he's quoting a Scripture from Genesis, and when a concept is repeated that many times in the Bible, it's probably pretty important, And Jesus says, for this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

So we get this message from Paul that we are all one. We get this message from Jesus that husband and wife are one. So it doesn't really leave room for a pecking order. Right? I wonder if maybe there's something else Paul is trying to trying to get across to us here.

So let's look at what he says to husbands in verse 19. He writes, Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. There's another passage. As I was researching for this message, I was looking in my commentaries I have in my office. I don't just put them on a shelf to make myself look smart.

I actually read them sometimes. And when I literally was reading about this passage in Colossians, the writer just said, just look to Ephesians. It's basically the same thing. And I was like, great. Thank you, commentators.

And then but in Ephesians, he says, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. How did Christ love the church? Serve them. Right?

He served his people. He dined with the outcast. He visited those in prison. He defended the powerless. He fed the hungry.

He clothed the naked. He washed the feet of his disciples. He did all these kinds of things to serve people and to put their needs before his own. And in fact, in Mark chapter 10 verse 45, Mark writes, for even the son of man did not come to be served. And remember, Jesus, the people he's talking to, believe him to be a king.

Right? And if someone's a king, you should serve the king. But he says, no. I didn't come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. The way Jesus Christ loved the church is by serving them, by sacrificing everything for the needs of others to the point of sacrificing his very own life for the sake of our sins so that we could be forgiven.

Also, Paul says husbands shouldn't be harsh with their wives. There's no place in a Christian household for bitterness or violence or abuse of any kind. So wives, submit to your husbands, but husbands, serve your wives. Don't be harsh with them. It actually points to a kind of mutual submission for husband and wives.

In Ephesians five verse 21, it says this, Submit to one another. This is the verse right before the verse that says, Wives, submit to your husbands. He says, Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. It's a mutual submission that Paul is trying to get across between husbands and wives. So discipleship in our marriages, the one eighty flip number one for our marriages is flipping marriage from what I can get out of it to what I can pour into it.

And he says, by doing this, we'll be honoring God in our marriage. He jumps and talks about a different kind of relationship after this, and I think you'll start to sense a theme as we make our way through Colossians three. In verses twenty and twenty one, Paul calls us to rethink parent children relationships. Now similar to women who Paul was addressing in this culture, children had no real rights. Parents could even sell their own kids if they wanted to, and there was no legal recourse for that.

Totally illegal. So in the midst of this culture, children having no real rights, Paul writes this command to them. It says, children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Now do you see why we want you all to bring your kids to church with you? So you can nudge them and be like, see?

See? Obey me in everything, Micah. Okay. So how was this a one eighty? In the Interpreter's Bible, which is a commentary I keep in my office, has various writers and authors coming together, but there's a really great great quote about this verse.

They say, and everything needs the qualification for this pleases the Lord. Who knowing human nature would care to counsel for this pleases the parents? This is all about pleasing and honoring God the way we honor our parents. I wanna say real quick why we're bouncing so back and forth because in Ephesians six one, Paul echoes this sentiment too. He says, children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.

And the reason we're jumping back and forth is, again, Paul is writing the same message, the same idea to both churches in this instance, so I think it's helpful to look at both to kind of compare them to one another. So even as children, the discipleship process begins as we submit to our parents as unto the Lord. Meaning kids, right where you're at right now, you can start becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ right where you are, and that's what some of you committed to today. Right? Those of you who were baptized today, you were saying, you promised Terence or you said to Terence, you promised God, you said, I'm gonna live my life for Jesus.

Right? And this is how you start by honoring your parents. Then on the other side, verse 21 changes it to fathers. He says, fathers some translations say parents to include everybody. I think this translation kept it as fathers because Lord knows us fathers need more help than our wives.

Amen? Amen. Alright. Fathers, do not embitter your children or they will become discouraged. Or again, jumping back to Ephesians, Paul says in chapter six verse four, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

So parents, what's the best way to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord? By submitting to the Lord ourselves, by setting that example for our children to follow, by teaching them what submission is. Are you all starting to sense the theme a little bit more as we make our way through this passage? In the next section, I think it's the best application for us to look at it as rethinking our employer and employee relationships. But before we can apply it that way, there's some problems with this scripture, which I think you'll see pretty quickly.

In chapter three verse 22, it says, slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything, and do it not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. One of the things to keep in mind when you're studying Paul's letters is you have to keep in mind they were written to a specific people at a specific time to address specific issues. So our role as reading the scripture is to see what is God trying to say to us through this letter that was written to specific culture. And at that time in the Roman Empire, there were about 75 to 80,000,000 people in the Roman Empire. And of those people, one out of every three of them was a slave.

And their reality of slave situation is they had very few rights. They were very much abused in this culture. And the thing about Paul, there's one thing we know about him is that he's against slavery. Right? Because the passage we looked at in Galatians, he said there's no longer slave or free.

We are all one in the church of Jesus Christ. But he knew these people that he was writing to, they needed to hear this encouragement about what to do, how to live for God in their situation they were living in at that time. Because even though they didn't have rights or personally own much of anything, they did have control over their hearts, and more specifically, who they could entrust their heart to. So Paul says, sure, your masters are over you in secular things, but they have no power or authority over your soul. So I think it helps to understand that context as we go back to the scripture starting in verse 22 that Paul writes to slaves.

He says, slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything, and do it not only when their eyes are on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for human masters, as working for the Lord. I think we're gonna catch that theme again here. Since you know that, you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

I wanna read that again if that's okay. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Those who do wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. I think it might be a good next step for us throughout this next week to to consider posting that verse in the background of our phones or hanging it on our mirror in the morning so we see that every day.

It is the Lord Christ who you are serving. Let me ask you a question this morning. What would it look like if you decided that I'm gonna implement those eight words and apply them to every relationship I experience this week. I'm gonna apply those words to every relationship I experience for the rest of my life. It is the Lord Christ I am serving.

What if any time we're tempted to neglect or ignore or lord over your husband or your wife, you repeated this phrase, it is the Lord Christ I am serving. By serving you, I'm serving Jesus Christ. I mean, it'd be pretty tough to resent your spouse if you viewed loving and submitting to them as service to God. Right? It'd be really tough to scream at one another or blame one another if you ask yourself, is the way I'm treating my spouse serving God?

And not in a guilty or self deprecating way, you're honoring one another because you honor the one who gave everything for you. Or let's look at kids, parents, your relationship to one another. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Kids, What if when your parents asked you to do the dishes or pick up the living room or vacuum or mow the lawn or whatever it is you thought through before you responded and said, it is the Lord Christ I am serving with how I respond to my parents? What if you looked at honoring your parents as honoring Jesus Christ?

And by the way, I don't think this ends when you become a grown up. Right? Obviously, God's pretty passionate about honoring our father and mother. He put it in the big 10. Right?

So I think this continues to no matter how old we are, no matter how old our parents are, it is Christ the Lord we are serving. Employers, employees. Right? It is Christ the Lord you are serving. Imagine if everyone at your work tomorrow decided to dedicate their entire lives to honoring Jesus Christ.

Do you think it would change the tenor of meetings a little bit? Do you think it would change the gossip around the water cooler? Or shoot, kids, students who are here in service today, what would your schools look like if you decided, if everyone in your school decided, I'm gonna honor others because in doing so, I'm honoring Christ. It is Christ the Lord I am serving. Schools would look a lot different.

Right? Our communities would look a lot different. Our neighborhoods would are you all starting to get the picture now? What Paul is inviting us into in this passage is he's inviting us to bring the kingdom of God here to Earth in our homes, in our schools, in our jobs, in our neighborhoods. God is desiring now, just like he was desiring back then when Paul penned these words under God's inspiration, God is desiring us to bring his kingdom here to earth.

And just like God says through his servant Paul, God is inviting us to play a very small role in doing so by remembering it is Christ the Lord we are serving. When we serve one another, we honor and serve Jesus Christ. And when we honor and serve Jesus Christ, we're bringing God's kingdom right here to Earth. Let's pray together. God, I want to thank You for the words of Your servant Paul.

God, I want to thank You for the overarching theme in in regards to all of our relationships. Would You help us to flip our thinking from what can we get out of people? What can we get out of certain people or certain employers or parents or whatever? Can can we can you help us to start flipping our thinking to what can I pour into the relationships God has entrusted me with? God, will you help us in every interaction for this week, for this month, for the rest of our lives to remember by honoring and serving others, we're honoring and serving you.

It is Christ Jesus I am serving. We pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen.